(I've gathered these during my many years of travel around the Internet. I've used many; claim authorship of none. I'll add to this list periodically.)
"Cats know how we feel. They don't give a damn, but they
know."
- Unknown
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."
- Dave Platt
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
-Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have
never forgotten this."
- Unknown
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back
to you later."
- Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a
good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from
insomnia."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all
owned by cats." - Unknown
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of
cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music
and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Colette
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be;
Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Unknown
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True,
and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with
strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to
ask for what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and
will piss on your computer."
- Bruce Graham
"Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?"
- Unknown
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."
- Unknown
"My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."
- Unknown
"Cat: a soft indestructable automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle."
- Ambrose Bierce
"I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat's insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all the was over on to the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while doing it. It's their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit."
- Roy Blount Jr.
"A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat."
- Elaine Boosler
"Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched."
- Cervantes
"My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her."
- Colette
"Cat: a pygmy lion who loaves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings."
- Oliver Herford
"No man ever dared to manifest his boredom so insolently as does a Siamese tomcat when he yawns in the face of his amorously importunate wife."
- Aldous Huxley
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
- Garrison Keillor
"Cats seem to go on the priciple that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
- Abraham Lincoln
"All cats are grey in the dark."
- Thomas Lodge
"Are cats lazy? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes, when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?"
- Fernand Mery
"When I play with my cat, who knows whether I do not make her more sport than she makes me?"
- Montaigne
"People with insufficient personalities are fond of cats. These people adore being ignored."
- Henry Morgan
"The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat."
- Ogden Nash
"It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. Peole like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponisible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart."
- P.J. O'Rourke
"A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion."
- Samuel Palmer
"Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use."
- Mark Twain
"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
- Unknown
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
- Alfred North Whitehead
"Curiousity did not kill the cat, I got him with the lawnmower."
- Unknown
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods, they have never forgotten this."
- Unknown
"If humans are gods, then dogs are true believers and cats are athiests."
- Unknown
Dogs: "They feed and shelter us -- they must be gods."
Cats: "They feed and shelter us -- we must be gods."
- Unknown
